Why I've not been blogging

It's been a while, hasn't it?  I hope you've all been enjoying the summer.  I know I have.

There've been a number of rather exciting reasons as to why I haven't been blogging recently.

Firstly - We've got a cat!  It's been quite time consuming settling her in and adjusting our lives to accommodate her but we love her dearly already.  Her name is Pearl because she purrs a lot.  I wanted it to be Purrl but we flipped a coin and my boyfriend won.  She's a rescue cat from Battersea Dogs and Cats so it's nice to feel we're doing our bit. There will definitely be lots more further on her to follow.  In the meantime, if anyone has any advice on how to prevent her losing her collar, I'd really like to know.  She's lost two in less than a month.

Secondly...  I've had an idea for a TV show knocking around at the back of my mind for years which I've returned to from time to time. About six weeks ago, I took a course with the Raindance Organisation on how to sell your script.  It was very inspiring because it was so practical - keep it cheap to produce, network, learn how to pitch, etc.  I then got chatting to a mate at work who I later found runs a TV company on the side and to cut a long story short, he's agreed to act as my agent and sell my idea.  Terrifying and exciting all at the same time!!  I've actually signed a contract naming me as 'The Author'.  Me! I want to workshop my pilot script before I start putting it out to potential production companies and then fingers crossed... who knows?

Wish me luck, people!  *Scared face*

Ladies - let's just be nice to each other!

I was gobsmacked to read recently that Gwyneth Paltrow was voted the most hated celebrity of 2013.  Gwyneth? What on earth has she done to be on the receiving end of such vitriol?  The woman beating Chris Brown only crept in at number 20 whilst murderers like Robert Mugabe didn't even make the list. When I thought about it however, a few things started to fall into place.  I'm taking a punt here but I'm guessing it was mainly women voting.

Image via http://4.bp.blogspot.com

Before you jump down my neck, let me present my case. First there is this post by the lovely Samantha Hadadi about how she's receiving a lot of judgmental comments from women for deciding not to return to work after having her first  child. Then of course was the infamous Samantha Brick article where she stated that 'other women hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks' and received a barrage of comments ridiculing her appearance - again, mainly from women.  Lastly is this fantastically empowering response by the actress, Ashley Judd to media criticism - largely from women - of her appearance. 

All very different but the common theme was how judgmental and critical women are of each other.  Many of the responses to Samantha Brick said that women don't hate beautiful women, they just don't like arrogant women. Mmm...  I used to know a stunningly beautiful girl called Jody who was also one of the sweetest, kindest people I've known.  She never ever used her looks to get anywhere.  It was depressingly common for us to be in a pub or something and groups of women who she'd never met would stand in front of her & talk loudly to each other about her calling her a 'slag' or say that she was 'just an stuck-up ugly cow who needed to be taught a lesson'.  In one notable incident she was attacked by a group of girls in the toilet of an upmarket bar 'for thinking she was better than them'.  

In my younger days when I was... er, in the bloom of youth, I'd know when I was looking good by the filthy looks I'd get from other women.  On more than one occasion, when I was on a crowded tube I had women murmur in my ear, 'You really think you're something special, don't you?  Well, you're not.'  Just for the record, when I was young, I didn't need anyone to tell me how I wasn't special - no one knew that more than me.

Now there's no way I could be considered beautiful when I'm at work.  Unless motor oil on the face, birds nest hair and a spanner hanging out of the back pocket is now considered attractive, in which case I'm well in there. 

Anyway, I digress...  

What saddens me is how so many women regard each other as the enemy.  It strikes me quite strongly that we hate in each other is a projection of what we feel bad about in ourselves.  Hating Gwyneth for saying things like "Sometimes Harvey Weinstein will let me use the Miramax jet if I'm opening a supermarket for him"?  All that says to me is that you wish you had a big shot film producer lending you a jet.  The girls who pillory the beautiful girl?  Actually they're just pissed off because they don't think they're that attractive themselves.

Now I'm certainly no saint.  I'll admit that there have definitely been times when I've looked at the so-called perfect woman with her great wardrobe, immaculate hair, handsome husband & all round enviable life and thought 'Bitch!' but I've learnt not to vocalise it.  It's doesn't make my life any better by trashing hers.  It's just going to make me look jealous and unconfident which are highly unpleasant traits.

I'm going to put something out there.  Let's just be nice to each other.  Really. The odds are stacked against us as women so let's not add to the burden by trashing each other.  Just because someone is beautiful and successful doesn't mean that you're not.  I'm not advocating schmaltzy gushing, just common courtesy and respect.  It'll make all of our lives better in the long run.

Image via http://bigdassorted.blogspot.co.uk

Things to do before I die.

The older I get, the more I feel my encroaching mortality so I've making a mental list of things I want to do. Clearly some of these goals are easier to achieve than others.

• Visit New York.
• Own a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes. These will do nicely to start off with...

• Fall in love.
• Have a child.
• Learn how to grow roses.
• Travel along the Silk Road.
• Read 'War and Peace' and 'Ulysses' and enjoy them.
• Be mortgage free.
• Be totally debt free.
• Learn how to manage my money effectively.
• Write a book and have it published.
• Get justice for my father.
• Own a really lovely designer gown and wear it to a movie premiere. Preferably a movie I've written the screen play for.
• Decorate my home beautifully.
• Travel on the ferry from Stockholm to Helsinki when the seas are icy.
• Participate in a humanitarian mission.
• Visit the Sinai Desert. It's the birthplace of three of the world's major religions.
• Have really shiny American hair. This is my normal hair. This is the kind of American hair I'd like.
• Be really groomed all the time.
• See the Northern Lights.
• Skydive at least once.

I'm going to save this list to remind myself.

I'll let you know if & when I've achieved a goal.