Hello

I know, I know.  I've said this often but I really am back.  Really.

So many reasons as to why I haven't been posting.  Work.  Work.  More work.  One of the more exciting reasons, though, is because I'm in the middle of an Open University course, on how to write fiction which I'm loving.  It's quite time consuming but definitely worth it.  

We have many exercises to do and I've decided that I'm going to post those exercises here because I'd really value people's opinions, positive or negative.  These aren't full stories but rather observations.  I'll post one per day so that it doesn't become overwhelming.

Reasons to be grateful, one to five.

I'm struggling to get back into the blogging vibe so I thought I'd make a list of things I'm grateful for this week.  A reminder of how lucky I am, if you like.

The first thing I'm thankful for is the fact that I'm still working.  I know that sounds a bit strange but let me explain... 

Last week I was doing a corporate job in one of London's grand hotels.  There were major problems with the job, (someone had misread the plans, we were running behind etc) so everyone was under pressure.  It was horrible, tempers were frayed.  By the end of the rig day, I just wanted to go and find another job.  But you know what?  Everything was ok in the end.  The job went off fine, the client was pleased and I'm happy to accept more work.  The moral of the story is - it's never as bad as it seems. 

Image via http://memegenerator.net

The second thing I'm grateful for follows on from the first.  It's my job.  It's creative, it's practical and it allows me to see sides of London, of the world which I wouldn't have under normal circumstances.  Recently, I was on a coach driving through west London, gazing out the window, as you do, and I realised that, through the years, I'd done jobs in an awful lot of places along the route, ranging from car parks to office blocks to theatres.  I'm met some fascinating people too - celebrities, remand prisoners, royalty, refugees.  The job drives me mad at times but it's a calling and I wouldn't have it any other way.

The third thing I'm thankful for is my naughty little cat.  She keeps me company, demands food when I'm trying to take important phone calls and is an ace at chasing rolled up paper balls.  I love her.  If that makes me a crazy cat lady, so be it.

Not my actual cat.  Image via http://www.bandofcats.com

 

Fourthly, we're off to Spain soon!!  I can't wait.  We're going to Seville and Valencia.  Any suggestions about things to do, places to eat, etc would be very gratefully received.

Finally, I'm bloody glad that it seems to have stopped raining!  It's nice that popping out to Sainsbury's doesn't have to feel like you're on a North Sea trawler battling the elements. 

The one where I return

Well, it has been a very long time - about six months or so since I wrote anything on here.  Boo!

I think I've sorted out the log on problems which I mentioned previously, so fingers crossed that I'll be able to post more often now.  If I'm completely honest though, part of the problem was, that I just got out of the habit of writing regularly.  Anyway, I do miss it and I want to carry on.

So what's been happening?  Well, the long and the short of it is, I've been very busy work-wise which is both good and bad.  Good because, you know... money and bad because everything else goes by the wayside.  I've been doing a lot of corporate work which does pay well but isn't always the most creative.  I had to turn down Fashion Week jobs this year because I already had stuff booked in.  It was a shame but that's freelancing for you.

So, what's going to happen on the blog this year?  I know no one really cares everyone's waiting with bated breath to find out.  More beauty product reviews - I'm a beauty junkie.  More fashion pieces.  More musings on life. 

I bet you can't wait.

Logging into Blogger

Yea, I know.  I haven't posted for ages. 

The reason is, I'm having a lot of problems logging into Blogger.  In fact, every time I log in, I have to change my password!!  This makes logging on so tiresome and time consuming that I just don't bother.

 image via www.sodahead.com

The problem seems to be that 'one stop log in' thing that Google introduced a while back.  You see, I also have a gmail account and like any responsible internet user, I have a different password for that.  Unfortunately this seems to throw everything into a spasm and won't allow me to log on and forces me to change my password.

I'm seriously thinking of transferring my blog to Wordpress.  If anyone's done this, do let me know.

Anyway, enough of me.  How are you all?  Good summer, I trust?

The funniest conversation I've overheard in a long time

Yesterday, my boyfriend and I were on the train coming back from Purley making painfully slow progress through the grimness that is south London.  We were seated at one of those double seats with a table.

Not the actual seats

Image via http://farm5.staticflickr.com

When the train stopped at East Croydon, two girls got on and sat opposite us.  They started chatting about this and that.  I recognised one of them as a minor model from somewhere or other.

So far, so whatever.

The conversation then moved onto what food they were going to buy for a party.  

I only hope that my writing skills can do this justice...

Girl on the left:  I think I'm gonna buy a sweetcorn and mange tout salad.  (I think it was sweetcorn, can't be sure)

Girl on the right:  Oh.  (Pause) What's mange tout?

G.o.t.L:  You dunno what mange tout is?

G.o.t.R:  Nah, I've never heard of it.

G.o.t.L:  You must know what mange tout is.

G.o.t.R:  (whispers)  Isn't that a rude word?

G.o.t.L:  What mange?  No, you idiot!  You're thinking of minge.

G.o.t.R:  Oh, yeah.  (Pause)  So what do they look like?

G.o.t.L:   They're kinda flat and green.  Like a really squashed bean but without the pods inside.

G.o.t.R:  No pods!  What's the point of that then?  (Fair point to be honest)

Now I'd gotten to the point where I was biting the inside of my cheek to stop myself laughing out loud.  I looked around the carriage and the three people who were sitting close to us were struggling to suppress their laughter.

G.o.t.L:  (shows the girl on the right her phone)  That's what they look like.

Not the actual image she showed her.

Image via http://www.bestinseason.ie

G.o.t.R:  (looks at phone)  Oh them!  Mange (rhyming with man - the adult male) tout.

G.o.t.L:   No, you fool.  Mange (rhyming with man - the adult male) is what dogs get.

Sadly by this point it was our stop and we had to get off.  Just as well, really, because I don't think I could have contained my laughter for much longer.

My only regret is that I didn't lean across the table and go, 'Please can I be friends with you?  Please!'

The elusiveness of creativity

What is creativity?  Where does it come from?

I've been sitting here all day trying to write.  Write more on a new script I'm working on.  Write something witty/informative/engaging for this blog.  Write an email to my freelance clients and let them know my availability.  Write, write, write.  Except today's output is just rubbish. Nothing 'flows'.  It's trite and stilted junk, no matter what I do.

Image via http://newhottopics.blogspot.co.uk

Usually I can write something personal and humorous to my clients when I'm looking for work - something that makes me stand out from the crowd.  Not today for some reason.  Today it was all, 'This is when I'm free.  Call me if you need someone'.  Urgh.

Where does creativity come from?  It's raining today and it makes me feel like my spirits have been smothered under a blanket of grey skies and dampness.  It's strange because I usually find rainy days intimate and introspective.

Perhaps creativity comes from good health?  I'm not feeling very well today and I can't seem to concentrate.  But that doesn't explain the myriad of artists like Honoré de Balzac, George Orwell and Chekov who had consumption.  Yea...  I can only dream about being in the company of Chekov and Orwell.

Maybe it's about life experiences.  I worked far too hard at the end of last year so I've awarded myself a little bit of 'taking it easy'.  Nice but sleeping, eating too much and watching DVD's don't give much material to work on.  Then again, I could draw on some of my experiences out on the road.  I can scarcely believe some of the things I got up to. There was that time when I was on tour with a very, very famous band.  We had a long drive from Warsaw to Dublin.  Partying hard doesn't come close to describing it on that drive.  All I really remember is standing in a puddle in Warsaw drinking vodka straight from the bottle then sobering up in Dublin watching a security guard chase the drum tech through the lobby of the hotel.  True story.  Yet, somehow, writing about that just seems like rock 'n roll cliche.  

My friend has sent me a link to some TED talks which she watches when she needs inspiration, so I'm going to make a cafetiere of coffee, settle down and watch a few.  

I should really go the gym but it's raining outside and inspiration is more important, right?  

Right? 

Musings on Valentine's Day

I don't mind admitting that I loathe Valentine's Day.  There!  I said it.

I hate the fact that something as mysterious and wonderful as love is packaged up and resold to us in the form of tacky cards and teddy bears with 'I love you' on their paws.

Here is this person who you'd die for; who makes you laugh, makes you cry.  Someone who rubs your shoulders when you've had a hard day.  Someone who you genuinely can't imagine living without even when you want to throttle them for something idiotic they've done.  So, how are you meant to celebrate this?  Why, by eating mediocre, overpriced food in a heart themed restaurant with other awkward couples of course!  And don't forget the red heart shaped balloons!

No, it's not for me.

Anyway, here is something I wrote last year about the origins of Valentine's Day.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Update on my script

I've heard back from the big shot producer I mentioned in a previous post.

He didn't take on my idea - his words were "It didn't have me on the edge of my seat.  I'm not sure that there are any networks out there looking for this kind of thing at the moment"- but that's ok.  Although it wasn't the response I was hoping for, obviously, I was happy with it.

I've always felt that honesty, no matter how brutal, is a form of respect.  It's the insincere gushings that I find most difficult to deal with - "it's an amazing script but it's not for me", etc.  I'm not going to go all X Factor, "No one's going to step on my dreams" but I'm not going to give up straight away because, after all, it's just one person's opinion.  However, I don't want to waste my time on something that's not going to go anywhere.  People have suggested filming it myself and putting it on YouTube but we'll see.

Watch this space...

Catching up

Wow, I cannot believe it's just over four weeks since I 'came out' to you guys and had my script reading!

The script reading went incredibly well - far better than I could ever have hoped for.  By and large, everyone loved it.  People were actually laughing at the funny bits!  I was secretly hoping they would find it funny but preparing myself for everyone to snigger in disbelief and walk out.

It was incredibly hard sitting up there in front of a very tough crowd asking for comments on my work but I'm very, very glad I did because the feedback I received was absolutely invaluable.  Someone actually said that it reminded him of the film 'The Artist'!  I nearly fell off my seat!

Unfortunately almost the very next day, I launched into production - yup, 15 hour days, six days a week - for a show which, quite frankly, the less said about the better.  I won't name names but really, technical preparation and simple good manners takes you a long way.  This did mean that I was emotionally drained & physically exhausted by the time I got home every night and I couldn't find the time or the head space to work on the feedback I'd received.  The show from hell is over now and it's looking like October will be a little slower so I'm hoping that I'll be able to get back in the zone.

An invitation and a bit more

I've thought long and hard about whether to do this or not and I think the time is right...  I'm talking about revealing my identity.  I'm sure no one will really care everyone is fascinated so here goes...

*Deep breath*  My name is Cathy Stewart.  I'm a freelance entertainment lighting technician.  I've worked in many different areas of the business - rock 'n' roll, TV, corporate events, theatre, fashion, parties and other rather strange, random jobs (I once lit a £3,500,000.000 necklace for a magazine launch).  I started writing this blog as an outlet for that feminine side of myself that hardly sees the light of day when I'm wearing steel-toe capped boots, high viz and wiring into the mains.

The reason for the big reveal is this - I mentioned in my previous post that I'm having a professional rehearsed reading for my script.  This event is open to the public and I'd like to invite you, my lovely readers.  It's on the 8th of September, (today) at The Crown and Anchor at 22 Neal Street in Covent Garden (opposite Urban Outfitters).  £3 entry - 7.15 start.   If you do decide to come along, please find me and introduce yourself - I'll be the terrified one in the corner.  If you feel so inclined to give feedback, I would really value your opinions.

Peace and love.

Updates and some exciting news.

Phew!  It's been a while since I've blogged.

I haven't been lazy - I've been rewriting and rewriting and rewriting the TV script I mentioned in my previous post.  I don't think I've worked so hard on a piece of writing in my entire life!

I think it's worth it though.  I've been given a slot on the 8th of September to stage a rehearsed reading of my script with professional actors in front of professional and aspiring writers who then give you very honest feedback.  I'll be frank, I am very nervous about it but it's a much needed step.  There's only so far you'll get with your friends and family uncritically praising your work.  I'll do any rewrites suggested, (if I think they'll work) then the next step will be pitching it to the networks. *Gulp*

Why I've not been blogging

It's been a while, hasn't it?  I hope you've all been enjoying the summer.  I know I have.

There've been a number of rather exciting reasons as to why I haven't been blogging recently.

Firstly - We've got a cat!  It's been quite time consuming settling her in and adjusting our lives to accommodate her but we love her dearly already.  Her name is Pearl because she purrs a lot.  I wanted it to be Purrl but we flipped a coin and my boyfriend won.  She's a rescue cat from Battersea Dogs and Cats so it's nice to feel we're doing our bit. There will definitely be lots more further on her to follow.  In the meantime, if anyone has any advice on how to prevent her losing her collar, I'd really like to know.  She's lost two in less than a month.

Secondly...  I've had an idea for a TV show knocking around at the back of my mind for years which I've returned to from time to time. About six weeks ago, I took a course with the Raindance Organisation on how to sell your script.  It was very inspiring because it was so practical - keep it cheap to produce, network, learn how to pitch, etc.  I then got chatting to a mate at work who I later found runs a TV company on the side and to cut a long story short, he's agreed to act as my agent and sell my idea.  Terrifying and exciting all at the same time!!  I've actually signed a contract naming me as 'The Author'.  Me! I want to workshop my pilot script before I start putting it out to potential production companies and then fingers crossed... who knows?

Wish me luck, people!  *Scared face*

Reflections on creativity

It's good to be back.

I've just been on one of those crazy production periods where you're working thirteen hours a day for six days a week.  It's hard work but I do enjoy it - seeing a show come to life before your eyes.

It fascinates me watching the creatives at work.  The starting point of a scene/show/piece of work is very different to the end product (inevitably lauded as something special).  It's that development process which I find incredibly inspiring.

I was working with a very well respected director recently whose whole thing was to avoid what he called 'usual'.  Not in a wacky, "I'm different, me" way but in an avoidance of mundanity and cliche.  We'd build a scene (which inevitably I'd find amazing) but he'd pace around the auditorium musing on how it wasn't working because it was too 'usual'.  He'd then spend ages on trying out discordant notes until he'd find something that worked.  Often it was only something minor like a light flashing where you wouldn't expect it but it introduced a vague sense of unease.

Besides a feeling of pride at being involved in such an amazing production, it left me with a better feeling of how to be creative.  I have lots of ideas but I often get frustrated because they don't seem to work.  I realised, after working with him, that your first go doesn't necessarily have to be any good, it's just the starting point.  I think the idea is to have knowledge of the 'grammar' of expressing an idea and know how to subvert it, or not, to tell your story.

Let me explain what I mean by 'grammar'...

We all know how to watch films/theatre etc.  When the Lumiere brothers first showed their film of a train pulling into a station to an unschooled audience, people were terrified because they didn't know how to read it - they just assumed it was an actual train coming towards them through the screen.

 

Over a hundred years later, we're so well versed in interpreting film it feels natural.  If we're watching a film for instance, we know that it's not a real time narrative but we suspend our disbelief for the 90 minutes of the film.  We know that the train is not going to emerge from the screen.  That knowledge of the conventions of what we're watching is the grammar.

Knowing the grammar but choosing to subvert and knowing how to subvert successfully was definitely part of the Famous Director's schtick.  I'm definitely going to try it in my own stuff.  

Writer's Block

It's happened to me.  I think I've got writer's block.

I have a couple of half written blog posts languishing on Blogger but when I read them through, I think, 'Meh, these are so flat.'

If anyone's got any suggestions on how to break through this, I'd be interested in hearing them.  x

A round up of Useful Things, Beautiful Things news.

As you can see I've gone for a bit of a blog re-design in an attempt to make it clearer looking on the page.  It's not one of those major re-designs where I pay someone to come and do it for me, then have a 'reveal'.  It's just me playing around with Blogger templates but hopefully it gives it a fresher look.

Here's a round up of the myriad ways you can now follow Useful Things, Beautiful Things.

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/UsefulThingsBeautifulThings.  I'll use this to post links to new blog posts as well as occasional links to things that I think people may find interesting.

Pinterest - http://pinterest.com/beautflthngs/.  I use this to collate images that inspire me.  Yes, there's a dark side to the internet but there's also so much gorgeous stuff out there and I want to be able to keep hold of it & remember it.

Bloglovin - http://www.bloglovin.com/en/blog/3489517.  A blog reader service but then I'm sure you already knew that.

I'm considering adding an email subscription service but I'm not sure I could keep up.

Facebook page poll - the results

I asked you, my lovely readers a while ago recently about your thoughts on a Facebook page for this blog as well as a poll on your opinion.  The results came back as an overwhelming 'yes, that's the way forward'.

So without further ado, here's the link to the Facebook page for Useful Things, Beautiful Things.  https://www.facebook.com/UsefulThingsBeautifulThings

Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to comment and vote.  x

A question for my readers

I'm trying to increase the readership of this blog.  If no one's reading your stuff, blogging is just self indulgent shouting into a void - white noise on the internet.

I've add a 'share' button under each piece but given my anti Facebook rant here, is it hypocritical to give readers the opportunity to share my stuff on Facebook?  On the same vein, what about a Facebook page for this blog?

I'd love to know your thoughts.  If you have the time, do vote in the poll I've set up to the right.  x 

Why I'm deleting my Facebook account

Ah Facebook...  It seems like such a good idea.  A place where you can catch up with long lost friends!  Somewhere for you to really express yourself - post about things that interest you!

I'll admit, I was a real addict when I joined about six (eek!) years ago.  I was touring with a theatre show and it became a great way to keep in contact with friends from outside the business.  And yes, I was one of those annoying people who updated their status with the most boring minutiae - what I'd eaten for lunch; the fact that I was going shopping, etc.  Mea culpa.

Image via www.fun2video.com

Then things started changing and more people started friending me. People who I worked with.  I know, I didn't have to accept their friend requests but I thought it might cause problems if I didn't.  Don't get me wrong, they're great but the whole point was to use it to get away from work.  My work is in the entertainment business and can involve long, hard days -15 hours is not uncommon.  Believe me, it's easy to get lost in showbiz.

I was also beginning to find that it brought out a side in me that I didn't really like.  Yup, I'm talking about stalking here.  It wasn't an issue when I was just friends with folks I knew well but when it's people who I only know through work, I don't really need to know that they enjoyed their lunch with Aunty Ethel or that they're having trouble potty-training their kid.  It's about boundaries and it's too easy to over step them on Facebook.

Things started to get really interesting when old school and university friends cropped up.  Without going into too much personal detail, the political situation in my country of birth meant that anyone who can has left the country and we're scattered all over the globe.  At the time (1980's) there wasn't email etc so it was a lot harder to keep in touch.

I'd lost touch with all my old friends so it was absolutely riveting browsing through their profiles when they cropped up on Facebook.  Firstly there was the girl who, for years, I'd thought had killed herself.  Seriously, how do you approach that subject?  I still don't know what happened or how that rumour started.  I'm too afraid to ask.

Then the girls who'd bullied me quite badly at school turned up.  I'm not sure why they friend requested me or even why I accepted but there you go.  There was a strange moment when I realised that two of them were grandmothers.  Grandmothers!  Can you imagine?

Strangest of all was the realisation that most of my old school friends' lives had followed a very similar pattern - marry a man who's either a farmer or owns a computer business; if not living on the farm, move to a small town; have two children, the oldest of whom is a boy who loves rugby.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting at all that there's anything wrong with that lifestyle, I'm just surprised how few people deviated from it.

I think ultimately though the main problem I have with Facebook is the sheer pointlessness of it.  I'm already in contact with the people I want to be in contact with.  We call, we text, we meet up and have actual conversations.  Those crappy, affirmational statuses that people are so fond of - 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade' etc are utterly meaningless.  People displaying their asinine political views are not going to make me change my view points, they're just going to confirm that my own ideas are correct.

Image via http://loldamn.com/

My pet hate though is those awful statuses that say 'Share if you're against child abuse/animal cruelty/cancer etc.  If you don't share, you don't care' usually accompanied by a graphic picture.  Study after study has shown that sharing those things actually makes things worse!  Fifteen years ago, people would have dropped their spare change into the Cancer Research collection box.  Nowadays people don't donate money because they feel they've done their bit by sharing those statuses.

Most importantly of all Facebook is stopping me from writing.  I've got a TV script on the go.  I've been told that it's good and I should finish it but this is how my writing routine goes...  Wake up early. Decide to do an hour's writing. Tell myself I'll just have a 'quick look' at Facebook before I start.  Emerge an hour and a half later with the beginning of a headache and tired red eyes having achieved nothing bar reading meaningless rubbish.   Take a break.  Do the laundry.  Do the housework.  

I also want to write more on this blog.  I started it for a reason, ie a creative outlet.

I've just checked my Facebook, (purely for the reasons of research, y'know).  These are how peoples statuses went.  I've edited nothing;

  Inboxed dislikess (sic)

  B*** earned an achievement in aviator

  In the paper today..hope i get to see my Sofia again...

  B*** played 2 words in Words with Friends

  Ministers who misuse statistics to mislead voters must pay the price | Peter Wilby

I rest my case.

I'm in the process of saving my photos then I'm gone.  

Ralph Waldo Emerson on beauty

I've been rather busy recently with Christmas socialising and I haven't had time to write a Thursday beauty post so I'll leave you with these words by the American poet Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Love of beauty is taste. The creation of beauty is art."

Image via http://www.britishbeautyblogger.com/2012/10/nars-andy-warhol-self-portrait-palette.html

Happy Thursday!

I am a bad blogger

I know.  I haven't posted in ages.  It's been a combination of things; (paid) work, illness (nothing too serious), but mainly a feeling that blogging is difficult.

Let me explain...

Obviously, I want to write the best possible posts.  Witty, entertaining, personal.  My favourite blogs are like that.  I love reading them because they bring a different dimension to the way I look at things, they entertain me and they're thought provoking.  I've written drafts for posts but haven't posted them because I just feel that they don't live up to those standards.

Must try harder...