The one where I return

Well, it has been a very long time - about six months or so since I wrote anything on here.  Boo!

I think I've sorted out the log on problems which I mentioned previously, so fingers crossed that I'll be able to post more often now.  If I'm completely honest though, part of the problem was, that I just got out of the habit of writing regularly.  Anyway, I do miss it and I want to carry on.

So what's been happening?  Well, the long and the short of it is, I've been very busy work-wise which is both good and bad.  Good because, you know... money and bad because everything else goes by the wayside.  I've been doing a lot of corporate work which does pay well but isn't always the most creative.  I had to turn down Fashion Week jobs this year because I already had stuff booked in.  It was a shame but that's freelancing for you.

So, what's going to happen on the blog this year?  I know no one really cares everyone's waiting with bated breath to find out.  More beauty product reviews - I'm a beauty junkie.  More fashion pieces.  More musings on life. 

I bet you can't wait.

I'm back!

It's been a very long time, hasn't it?

It's the usual excuses from me - busy, tired, slight illness etc...

We did go to Moscow in March which was fascinating and I am definitely going to write something about that.  In fact, I've had an unfinished post about it languishing on Blogger for months - my bad.

I'm also going to post more product reviews.  I like doing product reviews, primarily because it gives me an excuse to be a bit girly which is a complete antidote to the way I normally spend my days, (working with electricity, working at heights, carrying heavy stuff, rigging heavy stuff).

I've said it, so I have to do it now...

Catching up

Wow, I cannot believe it's just over four weeks since I 'came out' to you guys and had my script reading!

The script reading went incredibly well - far better than I could ever have hoped for.  By and large, everyone loved it.  People were actually laughing at the funny bits!  I was secretly hoping they would find it funny but preparing myself for everyone to snigger in disbelief and walk out.

It was incredibly hard sitting up there in front of a very tough crowd asking for comments on my work but I'm very, very glad I did because the feedback I received was absolutely invaluable.  Someone actually said that it reminded him of the film 'The Artist'!  I nearly fell off my seat!

Unfortunately almost the very next day, I launched into production - yup, 15 hour days, six days a week - for a show which, quite frankly, the less said about the better.  I won't name names but really, technical preparation and simple good manners takes you a long way.  This did mean that I was emotionally drained & physically exhausted by the time I got home every night and I couldn't find the time or the head space to work on the feedback I'd received.  The show from hell is over now and it's looking like October will be a little slower so I'm hoping that I'll be able to get back in the zone.

An invitation and a bit more

I've thought long and hard about whether to do this or not and I think the time is right...  I'm talking about revealing my identity.  I'm sure no one will really care everyone is fascinated so here goes...

*Deep breath*  My name is Cathy Stewart.  I'm a freelance entertainment lighting technician.  I've worked in many different areas of the business - rock 'n' roll, TV, corporate events, theatre, fashion, parties and other rather strange, random jobs (I once lit a £3,500,000.000 necklace for a magazine launch).  I started writing this blog as an outlet for that feminine side of myself that hardly sees the light of day when I'm wearing steel-toe capped boots, high viz and wiring into the mains.

The reason for the big reveal is this - I mentioned in my previous post that I'm having a professional rehearsed reading for my script.  This event is open to the public and I'd like to invite you, my lovely readers.  It's on the 8th of September, (today) at The Crown and Anchor at 22 Neal Street in Covent Garden (opposite Urban Outfitters).  £3 entry - 7.15 start.   If you do decide to come along, please find me and introduce yourself - I'll be the terrified one in the corner.  If you feel so inclined to give feedback, I would really value your opinions.

Peace and love.

Why I've not been blogging

It's been a while, hasn't it?  I hope you've all been enjoying the summer.  I know I have.

There've been a number of rather exciting reasons as to why I haven't been blogging recently.

Firstly - We've got a cat!  It's been quite time consuming settling her in and adjusting our lives to accommodate her but we love her dearly already.  Her name is Pearl because she purrs a lot.  I wanted it to be Purrl but we flipped a coin and my boyfriend won.  She's a rescue cat from Battersea Dogs and Cats so it's nice to feel we're doing our bit. There will definitely be lots more further on her to follow.  In the meantime, if anyone has any advice on how to prevent her losing her collar, I'd really like to know.  She's lost two in less than a month.

Secondly...  I've had an idea for a TV show knocking around at the back of my mind for years which I've returned to from time to time. About six weeks ago, I took a course with the Raindance Organisation on how to sell your script.  It was very inspiring because it was so practical - keep it cheap to produce, network, learn how to pitch, etc.  I then got chatting to a mate at work who I later found runs a TV company on the side and to cut a long story short, he's agreed to act as my agent and sell my idea.  Terrifying and exciting all at the same time!!  I've actually signed a contract naming me as 'The Author'.  Me! I want to workshop my pilot script before I start putting it out to potential production companies and then fingers crossed... who knows?

Wish me luck, people!  *Scared face*

Music Festivals

Music festivals are certainly popular.  Every thing I'm reading on the internet at the moment, whether it's fashion or music or getaways is breathlessly commentating on them.

The best festival fashion!  

Who's appearing at a festival near you?

See what your favourite celebs were wearing at Coachella!

There seems to be a cultural yearning for an idealised urban version of the countryside which combines the best bits of city living, (music, fashion, cool people) with the best bits of a rural life, (open air, space, trees).

So I may be a little controversial when I say this...
I absolutely loathe outdoor music festivals!  Proper hate them.  Really.

I think people assume they're going to be like this...

Image via http://hudabeauty.com

whereas I know from working on far too many festivals that they're actually like this...

Image via http://www.theguardian.com

In ten years of working on festivals, I can safely say that I remember one mud free festival.  One!  Usually they're just a grim struggle against the odds.  Just walking through the mud to catering requires herculean effort.  It's a struggle to keep the rain off your equipment. It's a struggle to keep clean.  Every simple task just becomes a monumental effort. 

There was the notable time where I got stuck in the mud and I quite literally couldn't move.  It was late at night and I'd finished work so I was on my own & the site was relatively deserted.  It'd been raining heavily the previous two days but on that particular day the rain had stopped so the mud was starting to dry out and had become extremely sticky.  It had been very hard work walking through this one field because it had been churned up by the heavy vehicles and the sheer amount of people moving through it.  I reached a point where I couldn't actually move my legs.  The mud was so deep and so sticky that every time I tried to move my legs, I fell forward onto my hands. Late at night, dark, no one around and I couldn't move - I don't mind telling you, I was scared.  Thank god I had my phone in my back pocket and after a number of tries I was able to get hold of my crew boss who came & found me and literally pulled me out of the mud by my arms.  

And that is one of the many reasons why I hate festivals.   

Reflections on creativity

It's good to be back.

I've just been on one of those crazy production periods where you're working thirteen hours a day for six days a week.  It's hard work but I do enjoy it - seeing a show come to life before your eyes.

It fascinates me watching the creatives at work.  The starting point of a scene/show/piece of work is very different to the end product (inevitably lauded as something special).  It's that development process which I find incredibly inspiring.

I was working with a very well respected director recently whose whole thing was to avoid what he called 'usual'.  Not in a wacky, "I'm different, me" way but in an avoidance of mundanity and cliche.  We'd build a scene (which inevitably I'd find amazing) but he'd pace around the auditorium musing on how it wasn't working because it was too 'usual'.  He'd then spend ages on trying out discordant notes until he'd find something that worked.  Often it was only something minor like a light flashing where you wouldn't expect it but it introduced a vague sense of unease.

Besides a feeling of pride at being involved in such an amazing production, it left me with a better feeling of how to be creative.  I have lots of ideas but I often get frustrated because they don't seem to work.  I realised, after working with him, that your first go doesn't necessarily have to be any good, it's just the starting point.  I think the idea is to have knowledge of the 'grammar' of expressing an idea and know how to subvert it, or not, to tell your story.

Let me explain what I mean by 'grammar'...

We all know how to watch films/theatre etc.  When the Lumiere brothers first showed their film of a train pulling into a station to an unschooled audience, people were terrified because they didn't know how to read it - they just assumed it was an actual train coming towards them through the screen.

 

Over a hundred years later, we're so well versed in interpreting film it feels natural.  If we're watching a film for instance, we know that it's not a real time narrative but we suspend our disbelief for the 90 minutes of the film.  We know that the train is not going to emerge from the screen.  That knowledge of the conventions of what we're watching is the grammar.

Knowing the grammar but choosing to subvert and knowing how to subvert successfully was definitely part of the Famous Director's schtick.  I'm definitely going to try it in my own stuff.  

The life I'd like to have versus the life I actually lead.

In my head I'm one of those women with an immaculate, glossy lifestyle that everyone tries to copy.  You know the ones - they live in all white homes accented with a 'pop' of colour (maybe a vintage chair they sourced at a flea market or a large clock).  They have amazing yet casual wardrobes and they instagram pictures of themselves eating Laduree macarons in pretty cafes with a perfect rose on the table.  Tea is always drunk out of floral teacups with gold edges and there's always a Diptyque candle on the go.

In my real life I'm a technician.  I wear steel toe capped boots & old holey T shirts to work and my hair is always a mess.  I'm not going to talk about the time I was mistaken for a vagrant on the tube (I'd worked an 18 hour day - I was tired!)  Don't get me wrong, I love my job, I just wish I had a bit more girliness in my life.

So I was very pleased last night when the waitress in the restaurant where we were eating commented on my umbrella, saying how much she loved the birds because they were so girly.

Image via amazon.com

  

Where has the time gone?

How on earth has it the 26th of January already? Christmas was over a month ago!

Well, in my case the time has flown by in a blur of work, socialising and well... more work. And now, rather wonderfully, I actually have two and a half days off! Yesterday I spent mainly in my pyjamas just recovering - watching stuff on catch up, internet surfing and sleeping! I didn't even leave the flat. It was bliss and today I actually feel relaxed but energised enough to go out and do things.  

... and breathe...

I've previously mentioned how hard I've been working.  Well the show's up & running and it received amazing reviews.

The production is Emil and the Detectives at the National Theatre.  It's a fantastic kids show but like all good children's shows, there's something for adults too.

Image via http://nikkimusingsandthoughts.files.wordpress.com

Without giving too much away, Emil looses his money to a sinister figure but has a marvellous adventure along the way.  It's set in 1920's Berlin and the script doesn't shy away from the social tensions of the time.  The visuals are incredible, referencing the expressionist films of Fritz Lange.

If you have a child or there's a child in your life you'd like to treat, come along! You won't regret it.

All I do is eat and sleep and work

I'm working so hard on this new show.  It feels like I've done nothing else but the show for months.  But it will be worth it because it's a stunning piece of work. 

Abba sum up how I'm feeling at the moment far better than I ever could with Super Trouper...

In a geeky aside, the light shown throughout the video isn't actually a Super Trouper.  It looks like a Sil 2k but I guess 'Sil 2k beams are gonna find me' doesn't have the same ring.

   

Hard work

Yes, I know.  I haven't posted much recently.  That's because I've been working very, very hard.  Last week I did 6 thirteen hour days in a row!   It's been good because I'm working on a fascinating new show but it really doesn't leave much time for anything else.  And this is going to continue for the whole month of November - 6 thirteen hour days on, one day off.

Living the dream.

Musings on freelancing

Freelancing is a very strange beast.

One moment it's all 'OH MY GOD, I HAVE NO WORK.  I must have annoyed everyone and screwed up a job (even though it all seemed to go well).  I'm going to default on the mortgage, get evicted and end up sleeping face down on some cardboard.'

Then wham!  Work starts flooding in and before you know it, you're doing your third 15 hour day in a row.  And then you remember that the reason you had no work was because it's a slow time of year - summer events are over and the autumn schedule hasn't really kicked in yet.

Note to self - Don't panic, be more positive.  

Phew! What a week that was!

Last week was tough!  I had 7.30am starts with 11 hour days followed by a slightly later start on Saturday but going on to an overnight job.  As you can see, it's hard to turn down work as a freelancer because you never know when the next job will turn up.  People who think I have a glamorous showbiz job don't understand just how much hard work it can be.  *Sighs*

As a consequence, come Sunday I was somewhat tired.  I spent most of the day in bed only getting out of my pyjamas at about 4!  I slept, ate some nice food, watched a few things on catch up and generally vegged out.  It was absolute bliss.  We did venture out to our local for a couple of drinks later but I was in bed early.  

Tax is always taxing

I've finally finished my tax return.  It's always torturous for me.  There's the trying to decipher what exactly the various sections mean; there's the tedious sorting through and adding up of receipts and in my case invariably there's a sick feeling at the end when you realise that there's not enough money in your tax account because you had a cash flow crisis a few months ago where you 'borrowed' money from it & forgot to pay it back.

I've resolved to be far more conscientious about keeping records and putting aside the money.  Seriously, I have to do it.

The year so far...

It's the 9th of January already?  Where has this year gone?

Well, in my case, it's passed in a somewhat inebriated blur of partying, (no, we did not drunkenly attempt to phone Chevy Chase on New Year's Eve, definitely not), polishing off the remains of the Christmas food & chocolate then rounded off with a nasty dose of Norovirus.  Just as I'm on the mend, I now have to start thinking about filing my tax return.  And on top of this all, I need to start looking for work because as a freelancer, you're always on a hunt for the next job.

Phew!  All in all this hasn't left much time or energy for blogging.  I'll see you later when I've emerged from my tax return.

New Year's Resolutions - Mantras for 2013

I'm not a great fan of New Year's resolutions.  It seems to me that you're just setting yourself up to fail.

There are however a few changes I'd like to make to my life...

I must start buying clothes for my actual life not my fantasy life.
  In my fantasy life I swan around at glamourous soirees in impossibly beautiful gowns, rather like Grace Kelly in most of her films.

Image via http://printandpattern.net/2012/09/14/high-noon-grace-kelly/

In my actual life, I walk most places and wait for buses in the rain.  What I really need are stylish practical clothes that suit my life style - coats that keep out the rain, shoes and boots that are easy to walk in.  My fashion mantra for 2013 will be 'useful but beautiful'.

I must eat more healthily and exercise regularly

  I'm not one of those lucky people who can live on beer & kebabs and still remain in peak health.  If I have more than three days of unhealthy living I start to become ill - my asthma worsens, I can't sleep properly and everything starts to ache.  This Christmas has been particularly bad.  I've had a fantastic time but I'm paying the price now.  My health mantra for 2013 will be 'a healthy lifestyle is not boring, it's about loving yourself'.

I must appreciate the little things

  I've been incredibly lucky with my career.  I've been able to tour the world with rock bands, hang out with some of the most famous people on the planet and gain access to places which are not open to the public.  

  The main thing I've learned is that none of that glitz and glamour really matter.  So many people aspire to being 'famous' and yet celebrities are some of the loneliest people I've met.  Everyone, including their families, wants a piece of them and very few people in the public eye have any real friends.  Famous people have always responded well to me because I treat them like everyone else, no gushing, no brown nosing and I will tell them if I'm unhappy with something they've done.  It's really taught me that it's the little things that matter - a great afternoon spent with my boyfriend; a fabulous evening with my friend; simple, honest communication between people. 

  My life mantra for 2013 will be 'love the small moments'.

Visiting Minehead in Somerset

One of the best things about my job is the opportunity it offers for travelling.  I've been lucky enough to visit all the major cities in Europe and many places beyond.  In someways, though, I think that the places I enjoy the most are the tiny, off-the-radar spots which I wouldn't think of going to under normal circumstances.

Last weekend, I was working in Minehead on the Somerset coast.

I'll admit, I wasn't holding out much hope.  The name itself, 'Minehead' conjured up images of depressed ex-mining towns with pollution, decay and feral youths.

Well, I'm pleased to report, I was wrong.  Minehead's lovely.

The weather was a typical English spring - grey and slightly misty.  I know that a lot of people wouldn't like this but I think it makes everything romantic and intimate.

Minehead's a small town.  It only took me about 20 minutes to walk along the beach to the hill in the picture.

The beach was full of interesting finds.

There was a lot of driftwood.  According to Wikipedia, these are the remains of an ancient submerged forest.

The tide went out a very long way, about half a mile.

There was some pretty little cottages towards the harbour.

I loved this little church.  The building adjoining it to the left was a pub.  I guess it's a case of sinning and repenting without having to walk too far.

The harbour.

There was a small nod to the gaudiness of an English seaside resort...

but generally the town was pretty and quiet.  Worth a visit, in my books.

Travels with my work

It's been an exhausting couple of weeks.  I've been on the road for work.  Don't get me wrong - I love travelling with my work but nothing beats being at home.

Image from http://blog.michaelmichelini.com/2010/07/good-luck-in-your-next-country.html

I've been to Manchester, Newcastle and Glasgow.

I saw very little of Manchester unfortunately.  Newcastle was lovely.  It's a very beautiful (and cold) city.  The Tyne River runs through the centre of it.  It's a narrow river with steep banks which makes for a very dramatic vista.

Glasgow?  Well Glasgow's Glasgow.  If you've been there, you'll know what I mean.  Raw, exciting, friendly.  And rough.

I've been to all of these cities before but I do enjoy returning because every visit throws up something new.

When will this recession end?

You know when you're just so angry with the world that you don't actually know what to do?

I received a letter from one of my clients this morning asking me to accept a CVA.  A CVA is a Company Voluntary Agreement - a company realises that they're in trouble and asks their debtors to agree to a repayment schedule.  Except in this case they're asking me to accept 30%, yup, that's thirty percent of the money they owe me, repaid over 6 months.  That will work out at a grand sum of about £20 a month.  I'm the only private individual on the list - all the rest of the debtors are big companies.  A company is in a much better position to absorb losses than a person.  The person who introduced me to the company has been paid in full (and isn't answering my phone calls).

The worst thing is - I had serious misgivings about them right from the start.  During the site visit they confused metres with feet and gave me the stage measurements in metres so consequently I hired equipment commensurate with the measurements in metres.  Talk about over doing it!!

Note to self - follow your instincts.  If it feels wrong, it usually is.